Upping the Ante: breaking through resistance to find some truth

Twitter has become, for me, a treasure trove of inspirational folks sharing uplifting ideas. Recently, I’ve been enjoying insightful blog post contributions from many in my Twitter timeline. It got me pondering my own current absence from blog activity. For the past few months, every time I’ve thought about sitting down to create a blog contribution, the same thought has presented, “You don’t have anything to say, right now”.

For those of you who know me personally, I realize this concept is laughable. For those of you who don’t… let’s just say, I’m rarely, if ever, at a loss for words. Alas, there is an important distinction between a blathering fount of unfocused measure and a worthy contribution to the universal “food for thought” menu. So, I’ve contemplated, pondered and fretted.

An often repeated and retweeted quote has been tickling my awareness. Maya Angelou said “A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song”. On the surface, this didn’t appear to directly correlate to my situation but, it kept coming back into my mind until I realized: we all have something to say… to the world… to our peers… to ourselves. My strong sense of “nothing to say” revealed itself to be, simply, resistance. Resistance to what I didn’t yet know. I made a shift and decided to up the ante and set out for a breakthrough. I engaged myself in a free flow journaling session to see where I might catch a thread of my truth. I dove in:

In Arizona, we’ve transitioned into full-force desert summer mode: daily high temps at 115 with lows in the upper 80s. I live in this desert by choice and genuinely enjoy most of what an annual cycle entails; however, there is no mistaking that for three months (July, August, September) a mental transition is necessary. Necessary, not for my survival, but for me to flourish. This season, I have yet to make the required shift, and the oversight has found me wanting…withering.

During the non-blast-furnace months of my beloved desert life, I’ve developed tried and true methods for my own personal connection to Self. My particular bevy of tools for thriving typically includes: journaling, hiking, massage therapy, yoga and guided meditation. My favorite of the personal inner connection tools is combining a hike in the neighborhood foothills with guided meditation delivered through my ipod. This is my “go to” quick fix connection which works for me every time and on all levels. The hiccup -- I can not partake in this activity in the summer heat. Even at 5 a.m., my physical reactions to being overheated are too strong to mitigate. I have now realized that a part of me is so strongly protesting this lack of a treasured activity, I’ve been subconsciously rejecting all other connection tools as well, thereby resigning myself to a daily existence of unfocused efforts, uninspired decisions and untethered activities.

It may sound inconceivable that anyone would deny themselves the pleasure of a relaxing massage, the peace and comfort a yoga class can bring or the gifts of stillness that accompany a meditation, but let’s be honest, our conscious minds are masters of diversion, distraction and reprioritization. Hence the need for a transition in my mental realm. During the time when my most desired connection activity is unavailable to me, it’s vital that I move into a period of structure in regards to my inner connection endeavors.

What??? Structure??? Blech... Yuck... Barf... Why??? No!!!

Okay. [THE GLEAMING GEM POPS OUT] Commitment without willingness for structure is not commitment at all.

And there it is and I am suddenly enveloped in a new truth. It may be a mental transition that’s needed, but more importantly it’s the physical component that’s missing in my mind-body-spirit wholeness at the moment.

This, my friends, is the value in writing it out (journaling) even when you feel you have “nothing to say“. When you put yourself in front of the keyboard or the blank journal page and being to write, a flow beings. Before long, a connection is established with your inner/higher resources and *poof*, out pops THE GEM: the words you need to hear, the concept you must explore, the answer to even the unspoken question.

I’m historically a mental dweller who gets glimpses and brief moments of profound connection to my inner soul resources. I see now, it is in the moments where I’m in my body and engaging in physical activity that my mind quiets and true connection occurs. Meaning that the alignment of all parts of myself is where the magic and mystery of life reside for me. A moment of honesty here: as a massage therapist of almost a decade who has intellectually understood this in theory, it’s a tad embarrassing to be really “getting it” for the first time. (Better late than never.)

I have never been consistently physically active, I certainly have not committed to a regimen of honoring my body, and I have never seen it as the “key” to the truths for Suzanne. I come from a past of ill health and never thought of my body as something that supported me. Truth be told, I’ve never spent much time, if any, honoring it at all. In hindsight, I see that this shift into an intention of honoring my physical being has been happening slowly over the past couple of months: it’s merely my mental awareness that’s beginning to catch up.

I’ve instinctively become more conscious about my food and nutrition choices. I have been pursuing treatment protocols for long-time health challenges with my naturopathic physician. I even danced around the edges of this very topic in my recent blog post about the Underappreciated Benefits of Massage .

What’s next then? In the spirit of putting attention onto intention (which I believe in strongly for thriving, growth and manifesting greatness) I now intend to put my glorious body on the pedestal it deserves for the very first time. I will move my body… I will fuel my body… I will support my body. In turn, I believe I will soar into a fresh place of true connection more and more of the time.

Now that is something, not only to “say“, but something to sing about!

Loving me,