CHAOS: FRESH AWARENESS AND AN EVOLVING RELATIONSHIP
As a highly sensitive child raised by a mentally ill single parent in a low-income environment, chaos reigned.
In order to survive and prosper as an adult, I learned to SHIELD from chaos as much as possible, developing an internal early detection system allowing me to SENSE chaos even before it's full presence is apparent to others.
chaotic environments, chaos-junkies, situational chaos, internal chaos, chaos perpetuating organizations / institutions / mechanisms…
I am significantly impacted and can almost SMELL it on the winds.
Let’s be real THOUGH. Chaos is unavoidable.
And not all chaos is bad.
I don’t mean… let’s be neutral about chaos… although I do think that can be useful.
I'm saying, my well honed chaos detector deploys shields (which once SAVED me) but now activate sometimes too soon.
And I miss out on the ENJOYMENT of the naturally chaotic parts of creative endeavors. That's the GOOD stuff!
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to EMBRACE or fully CELEBRATE chaos, but I’m recognizing an invitation to check in and establish NEW boundaries around my relationship to chaos.
My point is... the tools we created to SAVE us from harm at one point in our lives can become cages.
big roomy cages, but cages nonetheless
As we grow and expand in our lives and consciousness, those cages feel less and less roomy until they eventually become RESTRICTING.
If we are unconscious around this, we can shrink ourselves or relinquish progress in order to regain proportional comfort.
But, when we remain conscious (awake, aware and curious) we can release the binds and build something new…. a more expansive awareness… refreshed relationships… and the engagement of new tools to support the next layers of our BECOMING.
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LOVING ME / ROOTING FOR YOU,
Suzanne